Of bats, boobs and speech ballons

Vampirella, Batman and Scott Pilgrim – these are, if you want to call it that way, my main inspirational and influencing adultwise comic characters in my life. Vampirella mainly because of her bloodlust and her giant hooters. She’s also the character I follow for the longest time period. As far as I remember did it start back in 1995, the year I’ve discovered this new comic book store in my town.

Batman followed years later in an act of piracy I’ve to admit. I read the Batman comics in a pirated PDF version that I’ve got from a friend of mine. I also have to mention that I tried to read Batman comics back in the days, like 1992 or so, but I was more into Disney, Spanish/Belgian comics and the Marvell stuff, like Spiderman and Fantastic Four. DC Comics weren’t that popular these days. Well, in my environment.

The young upcoming new talent is Scott Pilgrim. Since the release of the movie I’m such a big fan of the movie and also the comic books (the movie mainly because of this ultra hot actress that plays Ramona Flowers). The whole merge of arcade style, nerdism, rock’n’roll and semi-super-hero attitudes make the Scott Pilgrim comic books very, very special. Whoever thinks the movie was ingenious, go read the comic books!

Comics Girl - Karola .4.

You might want to ask, ‘Why the hell is he writing all these things?

Well, mainly because I just don’t wanted to bore you again with another upgrade story about my media centre and secondly, because I’m back into comics. Actually, nothing else that is very special and worth mentioning happened these days, so I write about this. I’ve recently revisited a lot of Batman comics from the ‘piracy days’ (but now in real, bought book form) and it captured me more than ever.

Back in the days I got dead bored by Marvell comics with all their super fancy heroes and villains. The stories had not enough logical input and made a lot of use of the deus ex machina. DC Comics are different because DC keeps an eye on the main plot and sticks more to the investigation driven stories rather than stupid beatings and fightings. Without a doubt, X-Men and Wolverine are cool, Spiderman is great and even the Fantastic Four, but at one certain point, they started to cause a lot of boredom. Whenever the main hero is in a situation with no way out, he inflicts to a new special ability that finally rescues him/her, the story and the happy end. No longer my cup of tea.

Vampirella is completely different. The only thing that counts here is ‘Sex sells!’ and that’s it. The early Vampirella stories were bad, without a doubt, but after a while the whole series turns out to be something special. A lot of phantasm is included in the tales of Vampirella, but due to it’s connection to this Dracula and Transylvania myth it gets logical (in some kind of way). It’s hard to describe here. The Vampirella fan base is a small one, but very dedicated and the stories and the whole setting is definitely a matter of taste. You should give it a try if you don’t feel offended by erotic in combination with morbidity.

I’ve tried to read some Japanese comic franchises, but they weren’t very satisfying and I prefer Japanese comic artwork in form of a TV show or a movie and not in a book. While reading I set up the dialogues in a very stereotype Japanese style that simply does not work out so good though.

Another plan of mine, one – ONE day I’ll go down to my cellar and retrieve my old MAD magazines. Those were the ones I liked the most when I was young and still wearing eggshells behind my ears. Until then I stick with Mr Bruce Wayne and sidekicks, Vampirella and her ultra sex appeal and the nerdy Scott Pilgrim. Besides these I also got those classics like ‘The Watchmen’ and ‘From Hell’ in queue. I seriously need a 36 hours day.

The lust to kill

It’s been in my mind since I was around twelve years old, that one particular question came to my mind again, again and again. How would it be to murder a human being?

A lot of people might come up here and yell, that this is pervert thinking or that I my mind is freaked out. But I personally believe that everyone feels the lust or at least an interest to murder someone. There’s no doubt that man always enjoys the feeling to have the ability to control another one or is able to influence one to satisfy ones personal needs. Even the ubersocial crowd tends to be completely non-sociable when they get the possibility to gain the lead and as an result of this the control of someone else.

Humans in groups always tend to create some kind of an hierarchy and nevertheless they are not far from abusing their abilities depending on their role in the group. Or their capabilities in thinking. It’s nature’s law that the stronger one kills the weak one. With evolution, the development of the human brain and ethical values man lost the awareness of this particular law. Which is good, otherwise mankind would have been already erased from this planet and some other species would have taken place.

The recently mentioned ethical values are one of the main reasons why most of today’s common people even deny to think about murdering someone else. Most of them don’t waste a single moment to even try to imagine, how it would be. When you try to talk with someone about this topic, you’ll get a view with eyes of spotting on you fulfilled with many question marks.

For instance, a lot of people, especially those who raise children have a weird and strange tendency to become murderers or see murder as something to correct failure behaviour in this world. I’m talking about pedophilia. A lot of parents or other people with straight and fixed “correct” ethical values defend death sentence and want it back when it comes to judge pedophiles. This is, for me, like burying the trash as deep as you could under ground just to keep it out of sight.

...Murder in the Dark...

Man denies to watch the beast right into the eyes. Man prefers to stab it from the back and shovels it somewhere not to be found. Those who face the beast keeping their ethical values are the ones who can get a neutral point of view and measure murder with all its consequences in a correct matter. The small group of people who gets overwhelmed by the beast are the ones who finally tend to truly murder.

With this said in a exaggerated metaphorical way I personally come to the conclusion, that everyone can be a murderer. Without a doubt, murder is caused due to a chain of different events and circumstances that finally channels. You can’t measure murder by putting one tag of a reason on it. You always have to count and seek every single part of the puzzle to understand why it has come to this item.

According to this, the complexity preexistence, I also tend to say that everyone can be a murderer. Maybe it’s also a lack of intelligence that some people cannot even image how it would to kill somebody else. This intelligence barrier is quite good, because stupidity always leads to disease.

For a very long time did I think that this aversion against the imagination of the act of murder is something instinctive. This would come in contradiction to nature’s law and its methods to keep balance within a species and between several species. It’s more a result of the way we grew up and the values our  parents gave us we’d to live by every day. Also a thing of society and nowadays the media. Mass media has such a giant influence on people’s view on certain thing. Just compare people’s ethical values in Europe and the USA as to violence, murder, usage of weapons and torture.

The USA teaches their people that dismemberment and such things are normal, even war. On the other hand, they pretend that a nude body, women’s breasts are worst thing. You should not even speak about it. It’s the complete opposite in Europe. We take the human body as naturally given and have to shame to show it or to watch it. We consider violence, dismemberment, murder as wrong and that is what it totally is – wrong. From an ethical point of view and when it has nothing in common with the balance keep of one particular species.

Man has developed too much to follow these animalistic values anymore. Man prefers not to kill the weak ones. Man prefers to kill the different ones. But these are things you have to argue with on a much larger scale, when it comes to things like genocide. And still, what about the single human being?

The bar’s set much higher to murder someone in a “small environment” than it is to kill thousands of people. Is it, because swarm intelligence only works out on the lowest level? Like “good” mass media does? Keeping the standards low that everyone can understand and take part of the big discussion? Being part of the game?

Man likes to see masses get killed but denies to imagine to kill a single human being. Even when man has the ability to stab it from the back.

Current changes

A few weeks ago I started upgrading and changing several things on my media centre PC. Most importantly, I’ve exchanged the mainboard and the RAM. Another component that’s changed was the graphics card. I switched from a common GeForce GTX 560ti to a GeForce GTX 560ti 448.

The “old” graphics card was a SuperClocked version by EVGA, which had a lot of power but the EVGA Classified Edition of the GeForce 560ti 448 was too intriguing to be resisted to. The EVGA CE uses six power phases and is more a 570 than a 560. The big issue with the 570 is the lack power phases – four instead of five. One of my previous 570 cards died due to this fact during an overclocking session and a slight voltage increase.

I also exchanged the chassis, which looks much more elegant than the old chassis I’ve used and is a little quieter. The only noisy thing that is currently inside is the graphics card, but the cooling components will be exchanged in the very nearby future.

The CPU that was once working in my work PC wandered into the media centre giving me much more core horse power. The CPU is now overclocked but does not cause too much heat, thanks to a stock voltage.

After setting up the system and installing all the things I actually need (tons of games and XBMC) I’m very satisfied with the final result. Everything feels much smoother and the overall gamin performance has increased a lot. The only thing that bothers me currently is the noise level of the system during gaming sessions. But like I said, this is going to be solved.

The reason why I actually did those changes to the system was mainly the new Batman video game. And my plan worked perfectly well. The game’s now finished and I did not notice any weird performance issues, except the rumble with the Joker and his henchmen and the Catwoman fight in the strong room. Those were more PhysX related and my dedicated 9800GT had a little struggle with these fights.

Whatever the case, I’ve finally got a “debugged” system where everything finally works, which was not the case on the old system. For instance, ‘L.A. Noire’ did not even start. XBMC is working smoothly and I had no issues with exporting and importing the media library data.

The haunted night

Things are getting weirder and weirder these days. First this depression thingy, now I found myself surrounded by ghosts and mysterious visions. My last night was a pure nightmare. I barely closed my eyes and grabbed some sleep. It almost felt like I was soaked into the plot of Poe’s ‘Tell-Tale Heart’

Right after going to bed and resting my head on my pillow I heard a silent, gently knocking from somewhere inside the room. It wasn’t actually a knocking, it sounded more like the rhythm of a marching drum in a far distance. Worst thing about it, I couldn’t locate where it actually came from.

I wasn’t really caring that much about the drum or the knocking or whatever it was and fell asleep – finally.

It was around 3:00am when I heard that knocking again. A little more intense and the rhythm changed from marching drum to constantly knocking. Even the noise itself became much louder than the one I heard before closing my eyes. I tried to cover myself in the most comfortable way possible and tried to get back to sleep. Without success —-

The knocking disturbed me and I also have to admit that I got little frightened. Another thing that bothered me as hell, I’d to pee so badly. I tried to ignore my strangury and kept lying quiet under my cover.


There weren’t many options, I had to go off to the toilet and got rid of my liquid baggage. I gathered all my courage and did what I had to do. Success —

It was almost 4:30am and not even an hour until I have to stand up and get on my way to work. What I did was tossing around till the alarm clock rang and got finally up. Everything was fine, I was a little tired, but that’s no surprise due to the fact that I barely grabbed some sleep in the night hours before.

I was sitting in front of the TV watching some stupid, classic videos on VH1 and eating my breaking. Until, out of nowhere, that knocking appeared again. Loud and clear and closer than ever before —

Driven by an unknown source

It’s been weeks now that I suffer from these weird depressions I’ve mentioned in one of my previous posts. I actually do not understand where they come from and most importantly, why I’ve got them. The depression period is much longer than the previously mentioned weeks, a couple of month to be more exact. But it’s a couple of weeks now that I recognize them with more awareness.

Curiously, this is a condition that I’ve never experienced before and additionally did I never believe, that I could probably notice a depression without even knowing the cause. I’m a very cynical person and I also don’t give that much about mind related illnesses. According to this I find this current state even more hilarious. Also very frightening. It’s like standing right beside yourself without the possibility to actually reach yourself.

Basically it comes out of nowhere. A phase of deep sadness and loss of self-confidence. Like I said before, I don’t give much about those things and I also find people using therapy for mental illnesses simply waste money of our health care system. This loss of control about my emotional circumstances confuse me.

I’ve got several presumptions about this whole thing. One’s a job-wise one and the other one is a location-wise one. I also presume that the massive loss of spare time could be one reason, too. Another thing, I’m always tired and exhausted each and every time. I’ve got this weird lack of concentration and attention and I personally think that I failed on almost everything during the last few month.

My overall condition is far from good at the moment, but I’m aware of that and I personally do not think that this the reason for this melancholy driven sadness that affects me here and then. To be honest, I don’t have one sodding, important reason to be sad or depressed, but it affects me everyday and mostly in the worsts moments one can imagine.

Mind the gap

It’s a new bloody year and the old one, system wise, ended terribly. I wanted to use the weekend to do some changes on my media centre and I got stuck right at that point, where I wanted to put the motherboard inside the chassis.

The motherboard itself fit, but I wasn’t able to connect all the SATA plugs because there’s simply not enough room for them. One slope and the lack of holes where you actually need them refused to let me rebuild my media centre. We’re talking about an issue with the size of almost a quarter inch.

Without a doubt, replacement for the chassis was needed. To be honest, I wasn’t very satisfied with the chassis since buying it. The fan system was rubbish and too noisy. Too much plastic and not enough room inside. Which is now again to be proven as correct.

I ordered an anidées AI-6 chassis, which looks very plain and elegant. It’s a solid build with more metal elements and less plastic. I’ve also got a USB3.0 connector includes and the cable management looks even more logical. The fans aren’t to be seen at first glance. Mainly hidden but air can get in and outside through well designed vents.

Whatever the case (!), I’m looking forward to get this chassis as soon as possible to rebuild my media centre. I also go by and do a complete new setup of the Windows system, which hopefully will not waste too much time.