Behind the mask

I’m wearing a large mask these days. I’m not quite sure if this mask hits its purpose, but I’m stuck. Since I got away from my old company, where I was hired for almost five years and wanted to explore new territories I actually feel like walking in circles. It is even more frightening that I feel as if I walk backwards.

It’s hard to describe. After all these years I finally made it to the company I always wanted to work for and I feel so unsatisfied. I felt unsatisfied in my previous company as well, but one of the main reasons there was the commuting issue which has exhausted me.

The problem keeps growing an growing. Every time I start something new which excites me for a while I suddenly feel bored, in certain situation annoyed, and I want to leave it. The long breath I need to keep connected with something is gone. And it’s not even the long breath, I currently question everything and everything bothers me.

As you may know, I’m back into sports. After a long period with several small and bigger issues that did not allow me to train how I would actually have liked it I’m back to gym and the natatorium. I’m pretty good and fast when it comes to water sports but in the gym I’ve to struggle a longer period of time to get back to the point where I want to be.

But even there do I suffer the problem that it does not really catch me and it feels more like an automated process and not a thing that people usually do to have fun and enjoy. That’s in fact the core problem – the fun is gone.

With this core problem right in front of my eyes I’m watching out for a solution that is not to be seen yet. I’m tired of this and I really want it to go away.

The games, the jobs, the moves

Haven’t wrote a while for quite some reasons. First of all nothing special actually happened. Secondly, too much happened that I haven’t found time for writing.

For those of you interested in my impressions according several games I have to apologize, I seriously have such a lack of time over last days that there wasn’t any gaming worth writing about. I can tell you that I played a lot DiRT 3 and I started playing Crysis 2, since the release of patch 1.9, including DX11 and HiRes textures and all this kind of stuff. These are AAA titles and I’m still not sure if I should write about games that get reviewed on every other single website.

I also started playing Duke Nukem Forever and all I can say till now, it’s a giant disappointment. I will, yes, I promise, I will give an impressions review on this particular title because the Duke is a phenomenon that simply deserves a review or just a gaming field report.

Another important thing that was going on, I’m still stuck between enemy lines. I’ve recently got an offer for a company that looks pretty promising according that point potential and development. As far as I know, it’s a network infrastructure that is pretty basic right now, that wants to grow to something, I actually do not know. Anyhow, it should get bigger and better and I shall be the man for it.

On the other side, there’s this job in this advanced technical college that wasn’t approved till now, but I also was not rejected till now. It’s another job that is very promising, also differs from what I’m doing at the moment and simply interests me very much. It’s more an operator job in some multimedia stuff, things I’ve recently done a lot, because I did some internet streaming and had to do some video editing, too (even though I hate this creative things).

The third candidate is my current company. It’s for sure that I’m not leaving without asking for a price to keep me in. And you can bet your mother that I’m going to be expensive, I mean, reeeaally expensive. I’ve taught myself so much during the last 5-6 years and I got skills in so many different areas that I want to get paid for this and receive the graditute I deserve. I decided to stay in my company, if none of the current opportunities fits my requirements in any way. I waited for such a long time to get a new job opportunity, I still have some breath left to wait a little bit more in the case that nothing gets rolling.

That’s the status for now. Plan for the weekend is to help out on a move of some friends of mine. I’m not uber excited about that, but hey, sometimes you help friends, you know?

More sports

As you may I am stuck in a vicious circle that makes it nearly impossible for me to go to gym again. Well, a friend of mine noticed this problem too and so she asked me if she should give me some kind of a kick and join her for some company in the gym. I am pretty sure if I just licked some blood in gym again and can fall back to my daily habits everything will be fine again. It’s pretty necessary for me to get a little bit more sporty again because after this relatively long period without sports I feel a kind of rusty (back hurts sometimes, etc. etc.)

We’ll hit the road to gym in nearly two hours and I am much excited about how I’ll make myself in gym again. Hopefully I’ll not completely fail and the muscle ache will not be too horrible.